


Sober

by GodAndMonsters



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 13:02:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17224565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GodAndMonsters/pseuds/GodAndMonsters
Summary: Emma always loved the way her name sounded on Regina’s lips, the way the brunette rolled it in her mouth and tasted it before she let it out, gently, passionately, it was always with care and tenderness never like it was now, never with anger and disgust.That was what ‘Miss Swan’ was for, and now Emma’s name was stained with those emotions, and it was, so so wrong.Defeated Emma moved aside, letting Regina pass as she stayed alone in the kitchen.





	Sober

 

“Henry, can you please pass me the potatoes please?” Emma mumbled through gritted teeth, she outstretched her hand toward her son but her eyes were locked on the couple in front of her , she watched as Robin stole a bite from Regina’s stake, causing the brunette to hit him softly on his shoulder then kissed it better when he faked a pout - it wasn’t cute, to her it looked stupid and by the way Regina rolled her eyes, she bet the brunette thought that too.

 

“Mom” her son brought her back from her thoughts, she turned to look at him and saw his hand was slightly shaking from holding the dish for probably too long. “Sorry,” she smiled shyly and took it from him.

 

“So, Emma” the forest man cleared his throat and stared at her while she put a large amount of mashed potatoes on her plate, she let the metal spoon clash with the china loudly with annoyance before fixing her eyes on the ignorance man. “hmm” she answered him, not deeming him worthy for more.

 

“How’s fixing your apartment going?” he asked and it’s was pretty clear it was his own sweet way to ask ‘when the fuck are you leaving this house?’

 

“I’m not sure” the blonde smiled politely at him before her green orbs landed on the brunette, noticing how Regina was suddenly very invested in cutting her stake to small identical squares. “It is in a really bad shape, I really can not afford it at the moment” she was talking to Regina now, not even bothering with gracing the man with a look, her gaze was completely fixed on the dark woman who kept ignoring her.

 

“Can’t you fix it with magic?” he asked suddenly and she noticed how Regina’s face transformed from boredom to a total panic.

 

“No!” she suddenly declared, a little too loudly for a dinner table and Roland who until now was busy with playing with his food suddenly looked up at the adults surrounding him. “We are not using magic,” she said with a self-conscious smile “It’s not worth the risk”

 

“Well maybe if someone will give me a raise,” the blonde said in an attempt to light up the mood, and, well, because she could really use a raise.

 

“Ask your mother then” Regina smirked “she is the mayor”

 

“Only on paper” Emma mumbled while sticking her fork into another piece of meat “you are the one who actually doing the job, you even signed up my check last month”

 

“After your mother approval, this is her curse, I’m done dealing with this ungrateful peasants” her voice was filled with such disgust that Emma couldn’t help but giggle, causing the brunette to roll her eyes with fake annoyance and to Robin to fidget in his chair.

 

“Maybe Killian and I can take a look at the apartment” he offered, trying to put this conversation back on track.

 

“Yea, of course,“ Emma forced a smile and her fork clashed loudly against the china’s plate again, causing everyone to flinch.

 

“Do you want a refill?” Regina asked Robin, taking advantage of his empty glass of cold water.

 

“Actually can i have some wine?” he asked and the brunette’s face twisted for half a second before she put her perfect political smile on “I don’t have any wine” her voice came out sweet and dangerous, and her eyes landed on Emma’s green ones for a second, checking the blonde was still there.

 

“I brought some, Emma put it away, didn’t you Emma?” he sent a questioning look toward the blonde and Regina felt her heart sinking when his words finally reached her, her mask was crumbling and the blonde could see the emotions dancing in those chocolate eyes - fear, betrayal, anger and worst of all, disappointment.

 

“Didn’t you Emma?” the brunette repeated her boyfriend words, only it came out sharp and dangerous from her red full lips.

 

“Yes” Emma’s huskily said “I’ll go get it” and she quickly got up and ran upstairs, causing two sets of eyes to look at the brunette with confusion “I'll go fetch you a wine glass” she managed to whisper Robin before she sent a small a reassuring smile toward Henry and flee into the kitchen.

 

.

 

.

 

 

.

 

“Regina” Emma whispered as she walked with the bottle of wine into the kitchen, the brunette was holding one glass of wine in her hand.

 

“Not now,” she said as she took the wine from the blonde and made her way outside.

 

“Come on!” Emma whined and stopped her from leaving “talk to me”

 

“Not now, Emma!” she said sharply.

 

Emma always loved the way her name sounded on Regina’s lips, the way the brunette rolled it in her mouth and tasted it before she let it out, gently, passionately, it was always with care and tenderness never like it was now, never with anger and disgust.

 

That was what ‘Miss Swan’ was for, and now Emma’s name was stained with those emotions, and it was, so so wrong.

 

Defeated Emma moved aside, letting Regina pass as she stayed alone in the kitchen.

 

.

 

.

 

.

“Henry” Regina smiled warmly at her suspicious son “will you please show Roland your racing game?” she pleaded with him to do so, and maybe it was her devastated look, maybe it was him cutting her some slack today, but he just shook his head and said “Mario Kart mom!” and took Roland excited hand as he left.

 

“Never bring alcohol into my house again!” she gritted her teeth at Robin who just looked surprised at her clearly mistaken anger.

 

“Regina?” he asked with his sickly sweet voice and puppy eyes, and she just exploded, thinking of all the way Emma could have used this bottle, of all the progress they have made gone,and all of her fear and anger and guilt, splashed out of her in waves of heated words “What were you thinking!?” she yelled at the poor man “bringing this into my house?!”

 

“I thought we could have a drink?”

 

“I should have NEVER, god how could I be so stupid “ she was rambling, walking back and forth in the large corridor while Robin just stared at her dumbfounded, he didn’t even take a sip from the abandoned glass of wine on the table.

 

“Hey” he walked toward her and put his hands on her hips, trying to reassure her it was alright, little did he now that he just did the opposite, that his touch was heavy and suffocating right now, that his presence was so wrong at the moment. “It’s ok,” he said and kissed her forehead before pulling her into a hug, and when Regina cried into his arms it was for reasons she herself couldn’t understand yet.

.

 

.

 

.

When she walked into the kitchen again it was after Henry was asleep and Robin and Roland left.

 

Emma was sitting on the floor, her head resting on the wall and her eyes closed, she put the dishes on the counter loudly on purpose, hoping to wake the blonde, they needed to talk.

 

When the china met the hard counter Emma’s eyes burst open and the brunette smiled at the unfocused look in the blonde’s eyes, the way she looked from side to side until finally something clicked and she got up from the floor moving to grab a towel and positioning herself beside Regina.

 

They worked in silence, Regina washing the dishes while Emma dried them and put them on a pile. the silence was not an uncomfortable one and it scared Regina, it scared her how she and Emma could live in this silence, in the shadow of unspoken words, she wondered how many words they kept in this place, how many unspoken confessions they left to the silence.

 

When Regina reached for the glass of wine she finally broke down “What were you thinking!” she yelled at the blonde and harshly put the glass down.

 

“I wasn’t”she confessed, because when she looked at the wine, she wasn’t thinking, she was acting, she was seeing an escape, a way to run again, she wasn’t thinking about Regina and Henry, or Snow and David, she was imagining all the ways she could fall into this blissfulness of not feeling and not thinking.

 

“I’m going to bed, please finish here,” the brunette asked while walking away and Emma just nodded and worked on the rest of the pile.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

“Will you please just listen to me?” she said to the closed door and she knew Regina was not sleeping, the brunette could never sleep with this anger bubbling inside of her, and Emma wished she will snap out, that she will yell and scream and hell even hit her, she wished for anything but this silence treatment the brunette was giving her.

 

“Regina, please” the blonde knocked on the door again, “I’m going to open it now” she warned but no answer came, she turned the handle, hearing the click of the door cutting the silence in the air and she took a deep breath before she finally opened the door and walked inside the room, she saw Regina laying on the bed, with her dark purple nightgown and her wet hair.

 

Regina was holding a book in her hands, and a pair of black glasses laid perfectly on her nose, she was beautiful, breathtaking, and while staring at her with an open mouth she almost missed the wet tissues that were spread all over the bed.

 

“Regina” she sighed and walked to sit beside her on the bed “I’m sorry” she was tired from saying it, from feeling it, from needing to repeat it over and over and over again, because of course Emma Swan the Saviour always had a reason to be sorry, for not being good enough, for not being nice enough, for not being strong enough, and no one ever stopped to think that all of this will eventually lead to not being sober enough.

 

“I know,” Regina said and it was the first time anyone ever acknowledged their understanding, it was the first time someone even tried to understand and somehow it made Emma feel worse, because why she had to ruin the one thing that was good in her life? why she had to sabotage her relationship with the one person who tried so hard to understand?

 

“I try, I promise,” she bit her tears and forced herself to look at the brunette, to memorize those strained cheeks and red, puffy eyes.

 

“I know” Regina whispered and took Emma’s hand in hers, she brought the white knuckles into her red lips and kissed each of them, lightly brushing her lips against them before she lowered the hand again.

 

“Truth or dare?” Emma asked, trying to light up the mood.

 

“Truth”

 

“You do love having me here, don’t you?” she smiled and looked at the older woman who was playing with her fingers, tracing each white knuckle with her dark soft thumb, trying to avoid the question before she smiled shyly at the blonde and whispered, “I do”.


End file.
